The Link Between Perfectionism and Stress: Causes and Coping Strategies

Having high aspirations and being motivated by them to excel is a healthy motivational approach. High standards motivate people to work carefully and persistently, as well as stimulate personal development. Still, once the wish to perform well turns into an unceasing need to be perfect, it leads to a lot of stress.

The relationship between perfectionism and stress is rather obvious since perfectionistic tendencies tend to make people think that any mistake is intolerable, instilling fear of failure and constant worries about the quality of their performance. An individual may spend too much time checking their work, be unable to finish it, or be unhappy about success despite all efforts.

Realizing the relationship between perfectionism and stress does not necessarily imply losing ambitions or lowering one's standards, but rather finding a way of keeping them while preventing unrealistic expectations and self-criticism from dominating one's daily routine.

What is Perfectionism?

Perfectionism is defined as having exceedingly high expectations of oneself and measuring one's performance based on such standards. For some people, having performed well is not sufficient; they feel like anything but perfection equates to failure.

Such a mentality is reflected in phrases like "I cannot afford to make mistakes," "This needs to be perfect," or "I should have done better." In essence, it makes everyday activities seem significantly more difficult than they are supposed to be.

One has to be able to differentiate perfectionism from healthy competitiveness. A person who is highly competitive is able to pursue excellence while understanding that mistakes are part of life and that certain things have to be done well. Thus, it is not about how high your expectations are, but about your reaction to the reality not meeting them.

How Perfectionism Can Increase Stress

Unrealistic Expectations

The one of the most obvious ways how perfectionism causes stress is unrealistic expectations. The belief that everything needs to be done perfectly turns even everyday activities into a stressor.

A task which would normally require an hour of work takes much longer because of endless corrections. An easy presentation causes stress due to the need to do everything perfectly. Rather than asking yourself what would be enough, you ask yourself what would be ideal. Such expectations can lead to permanent stress because perfection is usually not attainable. Even the tasks done successfully are evaluated from the perspective of imperfections.

Fear of Failure and Mistakes

In some ways, perfectionism also makes mistakes seem even more dangerous. In fact, instead of seeing a mistake as something that is informative and can be used as a learning experience, you may see it as proof that you do not have enough ability.

This fear can cause you to keep your focus on all the things that might happen. Before doing the task, you will be worrying about making a poor choice. While doing it, you will keep questioning yourself. Once done, you will be analyzing and finding any problems. All of this psychological strain can lead to stress because your brain will not stop thinking about possible problems.

Constant Self-Criticism

Perfectionism is always associated with self-criticism. Instead of celebrating the strengths and accomplishments, you see only the failures and mistakes, or whatever was done wrong.

Suppose you receive positive feedback for a piece of work you have done, but pay attention to only one negative comment among all of them. It would make sense to evaluate both – but in the case of perfectionism, the critical comment becomes an evidence of your failure. Continuation of self-criticism results in prolonging stress after the completion of a certain activity, although technically the work has been done already.

Difficulty Switching Off

Perfectionism can cause difficulty in shutting down from your obligations in your mind. Even though the work is completed, you may find yourself still thinking about what else you should have done.

You may be reliving a discussion, second-guessing a choice you made, or wondering if somebody was happy with your performance. Relaxation can become challenging for you because your mind is busy processing. Eventually, the inability to turn off can wear out your mind but can also make recovery from daily stresses more difficult.

The Perfectionism-Stress Cycle

Perfectionism and stress can feed into each other. Usually, it starts with very high expectations. Such expectations put pressure on you that results in overthinking, rechecking, fear of making mistakes, and working too hard. Such stress can also make your performance matter even more. You will be more concerned about making mistakes and, therefore, will check and criticize yourself even more often. The cycle goes on.

For some people, this cycle can manifest itself through overworking. For others, perfectionism can cause procrastination and avoidance. Because you think that your work should be perfect, starting becomes hard for you since you start seeing all possible mistakes before you start. To break the cycle, you need to do more than calm down. You have to change your expectations and develop a better response to mistakes.

Signs That Perfectionism Is Increasing Your Stress

Your perfectionism and stress might have an unhealthy relationship if you find yourself constantly editing or checking your work well beyond the point when it has met all requirements. Over attention to small things can also serve as an indicator of growing perfectionist tendencies.

Problems with initiating your actions can also play an important role here. You may often procrastinate on completing some task because you are scared that your first try won't be good enough. Not being able to celebrate success is another potential sign. Reaching an important milestone for you and instantly analyzing everything that you could have done differently to make your result better might suggest that your perfectionism is negatively affecting you.

Being highly anxious about criticism, your fear of making mistakes, and the constant impression that your performance defines your worth as a person can also mean that your perfectionistic mindset brings you unnecessary stress.

How to Break the Connection Between Perfectionism and Stress

Set More Realistic Standards

The first step is to set appropriate expectations. All of your work doesn't require your very best performance, and some of your duties don't require the same amount of attention that others do.

Ask yourself what level of perfection is needed. In the case of a professional project, it will most likely demand thorough proofreading, but an email that you send to someone won't need twenty minutes of work. With realistic standards, you'll stay conscientious and won't turn everything into a challenge for yourself.

Practice "Good Enough" Thinking

"Good enough" does not imply carelessness. Instead, it is about understanding that there comes a time when extra effort no longer leads to further improvements. When approaching a task, you should ask yourself what its satisfactory completion looks like, and when you have achieved this goal, you'll permit yourself to move forward.

It might especially help perfectionists that keep working on their papers over and over again. Having a point of termination might save you from spending too much time on things that don't need it.

Challenge All-or-Nothing Thinking

Perfectionism tends to involve some extremes. You may believe that a slip up means a total failure or that less than perfect is never okay. It helps to challenge these types of thinking errors by using more realistic interpretations. Your presentation can have a minor mistake but still be successful. Your project can have flaws yet still be valuable. Your poor results can be useful lessons without defining your abilities.

The ability to see things in shades of gray instead of just black or white can help minimize unnecessary stress and pressure.

Limit Overthinking and Excessive Checking

Excessive checking can make you feel better in the short-term but also contribute to your perfectionism. Every new check gives you a chance to notice something wrong.

Setting reasonable limits on how many times you will review and revise your work can be beneficial. For example, you can permit yourself to check your important paper twice before submitting it. In some cases, a single review would suffice. Time limits can also help. It can encourage you to focus on the essentials when you have a set time to accomplish your task.

Respond to Mistakes More Constructively

Mistakes happen. What really counts is what happens after the mistake. Rather than asking yourself "Why was I such a failure at this?" ask yourself "What can I learn from this?" This changes the perspective from being self-critical to problem-solving.

Focus on the particular behavior or decision that is flawed and needs work instead of elevating one single mistake into an overall character flaw. A mistake is a discrete event. It does not have to define you. A constructive approach to mistakes enables you to learn without having to add stress to the problem itself.

Create a Healthier Relationship With Achievement

De-stressing from perfectionism does not mean giving up aspirations. One can aim for success but be allowed to err, grow, and bounce back. Try evaluating successes by such parameters as efforts made, learning achieved, persistence, and personal development rather than perfect results. They give a wider picture of accomplishments and ease the necessity to achieve perfection each time.

Finally, one should appreciate successes, instead of passing on to a new target right away. Try to evaluate what has been done, what has been learned, and what was good about all that in order to avoid the tendency of setting higher standards without being content with anything.

Resting is yet another component of a healthier attitude toward accomplishment. Productivity is different from performance. Allowing for rest is an additional tool to protect oneself from perfectionistic pressure turning all aspects of life into performance.

Conclusion

The connection between perfectionism and stress will be the most powerful in the cases when the high standards become the rigid requirements and failures are difficult to accept. It is important not to forget that unreasonable standards, fear of failure, self-criticism, excessive checking and inability to turn off can bring the unnecessary psychological pressure.

The answer is not to give up on the desire to achieve something. What you need is to cultivate more flexible approach to the problem. Set realistic standards, understand when it is enough to do and when you can stop, oppose all-or-nothing attitude, avoid too much checking and consider mistakes as your experience. Thus, you will have the chance to reach your goals and at the same time to keep your sanity.

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