Building a Growth Mindset in Children: 10 Practical Tips for Parents

There will be situations where kids realize that something is beyond their capabilities. They might fail to comprehend a new mathematical principle; they could experience frustration while trying to learn to play a sport. Or kids might even tell themselves that they are not good at something because they have already made several mistakes.

This is why it is so beneficial to teach kids how to adopt a growth mindset. This will teach kids that not everything depends on their innate abilities. Through practice, learning, good strategies, feedback, and perseverance, kids will manage to build their skills and develop.

Here, parents are of great importance. Their conversations, reactions to mistakes, and reactions to challenges will teach kids how to approach the process of learning. And the main thing is not to convince kids that they can do everything without any effort. The main idea is to show kids that difficulties usually come along with the learning process.

What is a Growth Mindset in Children?

The growth mindset is an understanding that skills and abilities can be developed through learning and practice. If a child has a growth orientation, he will see a challenging activity as something he has not learned to do rather than something that proves his inability.

This is the opposite of a fixed mindset, when a child believes that his intelligence or abilities have already been defined. In this case, the child will say to himself that he is poor at math or that he cannot draw, and will try to avoid any activities that require these skills.

Having a growth mindset does not mean that hard work always brings results. In other words, just working harder does not necessarily lead to success. Children will need not only hard work but also proper strategy and instruction.

1. Praise Effort, Progress, and Strategies

Praising kids in certain ways can direct their attention toward certain things. When a kid is constantly praised for being naturally gifted or intelligent, he may get worried about maintaining his image. Consequently, he will be unwilling to engage in tasks that may require effort and involve errors.

To praise kids positively, it would be better to recognize the effort that went into making progress. The child may be noted for solving a difficult task despite all challenges, for trying a new solution, practicing a skill, or improving himself relative to his past attempts.

For instance, instead of just praising the kid by saying "You are such a smart kid," it would be better to praise him by saying "You were working hard at this task although it was difficult."

2. Teach Children That Mistakes Help Them Learn

Making mistakes is a natural aspect of the learning process, but children might sometimes view making mistakes as a sign that they lack the ability to accomplish something. Parents can play a big role in helping kids develop a different attitude toward mistakes by viewing them as valuable learning opportunities.

Don't label mistakes as failures when your kid makes one. Instead, ask questions like, "What went wrong here?" or "What else could you try next time?" This will direct the kid's mind to problem-solving rather than feeling embarrassed about what happened. You can also talk about your own mistakes when it's relevant to the situation. Kids need to understand that adults don't know everything and aren't perfect at all times either.

3. Introduce the Power of “Yet”

An easy method of fostering a growth mindset in your child is to teach them the power of the word "yet." When a child says "I can't do this," you should encourage them to think "I can't do this yet." In doing so, they don't guarantee themselves success right away; they accept that the skill is being cultivated.

This small adjustment can allow your child to distinguish between their current abilities and their ability to develop skills further. However, do not force your child to always respond this way when they feel frustrated. First, validate their emotions. If your child is struggling, it would be better to say, "I know this is hard for you now. What could you do differently?"

4. Let Children Work Through Manageable Challenges

Children require the chance to overcome challenges without adults constantly solving all of the problems. When parents rush in to help with any challenge, there will be less of a chance for children to learn persistence and problem-solving skills. Provide children with challenges that are suited to their age and skill level. Allow them a chance to try before intervening.

If the child gets stumped, intervene in such a way that they are still in control. For example, you may ask, "Have you tried this before?" or "Is there another way you can go about this?" It is not a matter of making children suffer for no reason. The aim is to allow them the freedom to realize that they can overcome solvable challenges.

5. Model a Growth Mindset as a Parent

Persistence is a quality not only taught but also modeled by parents to their children. For example, if you make a mistake, share with your kid how you are going to deal with it positively by saying, "I didn't think that would work; I'm going to try another way." When you are learning something new, show kids that it requires some practice.

It shows that one continues to improve not just during childhood but also in adulthood, since adults also learn things, make mistakes, get feedback, and change their approaches accordingly. You don't need to pretend that everything comes easily to you; sometimes, it is better to teach children how to deal with difficult situations and uncertainty.

6. Focus on Individual Progress

Using children for comparison with other children will lead them to concentrate on their ability to be either ahead of or behind others. It is important to guide them through realizing their individual development.

If they had trouble with reading last year but have started to read independently now, make sure they know about it. If they used to need assistance to accomplish some tasks but can now manage some of it themselves, encourage them in what they have achieved.

Questions like, "What can you do now that you could not do before?" will show them their personal progress. Individual development will show children that everyone learns at different speeds. Just because someone else achieved something first does not mean that they will not achieve it themselves.

7. Teach Children to Change Strategies

Having a growth mindset does not mean constantly telling children to persist. In some cases, repetition will not help to solve the problem. Educate children to wonder if there is an alternative way that they could do things. It could be that the way to learn is different, seeking clarification, doing tasks in a different way, or seeking additional information.

For instance, if the child has attempted to solve the problem but could not do so, it would be wise to advise them to think of an alternative way to solve the problem.

It would be crucial for children to understand that persistence and flexibility can go hand in hand.

8. Encourage Curiosity and Questions

Children need to feel safe enough to admit when they don't know something. In situations where posing questions is perceived as a form of incompetence, children will be less likely to seek out the knowledge necessary to excel.

Foster curiosity by reacting in a positive manner when your child raises questions. You can use the questions your child poses as a chance to investigate things with him together, rather than acting as if you have all the answers yourself. Alternatively, pose questions that make a child think about the what-if scenario. For example, "What do you think might happen if we did things differently?"

The child who doesn't feel pressure to know everything and instead feels comfortable saying "I don't know" has more opportunities for growth.

9. Help Children Respond to Setbacks

Obstacles may sometimes bring disappointment, especially if children really care about their results. Do not rush to eliminate disappointment, but recognize how children are feeling. You might say, “It sounds like you’re feeling disappointed.” You did your best in this case." When children are ready to move on from the negative feelings, guide them on what will happen next.

Help break the obstacle down into smaller pieces and discuss questions like "What did you learn?" "Could you have done anything differently?" or "Do you need help?" The main point here is not to make children believe that one should never feel disappointed. The aim is to make them realize that disappointment does not mean failure.

10. Avoid Comparing Children With Others

Different children develop in different ways, and continuous comparisons could cause learning to become competitive. Phrases like "See how your brother does that" might unconsciously create an impression that it is necessary to compete. It is important to concentrate on a child's development without comparison. Acknowledge improvements, effort, strategies, and persistence while not comparing a child with another child.

In case a child notices somebody doing something better than they can, help your child see that person as a good example or role model instead of feeling incapable. The emphasis should be put on development questions, like "What can your child learn?" "What can your child practice?" "What strategy can they try next?"

Conclusion

Creating a growth mindset in children is achieved through many conversations, rather than just one. How parents react to mistakes, setbacks, frustrations, effort, and improvements can have a gradual effect on the way children think about themselves. Celebrate the process, rather than only using labels like "smart" or "talented." Teach children that mistakes can actually provide valuable information. Make use of the word "yet," give them experiences of dealing with manageable challenges, and set an example by being open to learning.

Above all else, do not make it your mission to protect your child from every difficult situation. They will need chances to figure out that they can change, grow, and try again. Growth mindset parenting is not about raising children without difficulties. It is about raising children who realize that even if something is difficult today, it doesn't mean it will stay that way forever.

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